To My Little Miracle,
Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. It is hard right now to imagine you are growing inside my tummy, and your little heart is beating away. But I know it is real, and your daddy and I feel so very blessed. It took three long months before we conceived you. Each month that passed, we wanted you even more. Mummy knew right away when we conceived you, but didn't want to get Daddy's hopes up. Two long weeks passed before we could test and see if this was 'the' month. I took the test early one morning just after Daddy had gone to work. There was a very faint second line. My heart skipped a beat. I took another test just incase I was imagining it. There was another very faint line. But it was not dark enough to reassure me that all our dreams really were coming true. I set off to the shops to buy a digital test, and decided to wait until the next day to check again before I told Daddy. That was the hardest night of my life so far. It was so hard keeping a secret from your Daddy, and trying to seem like nothing was different any everything was normal. I barely slept that night. The next morning, I had butterflies in my tummy. I waited patiently for Daddy to leave for work again, then did a digital test. It immediately came up with the word ‘Pregnant’. I screamed and jumped up and down and started giggling. It was real! There is a baby inside me!
I told your daddy we were going out to dinner, to celebrate ‘Happy Friday’ (we love celebrating Happy Friday each week as it means weekend time has come again! I often bake cakes, write little love notes, or give your Daddy a present). When Daddy got home, we went out to dinner, and I handed your Daddy a present. Daddy opened it to find a tiny 0000 white jumpsuit (I keep looking at it, imagining you in it in 6 months time!) and a digital test still saying ‘Pregnant’. Daddy looked at them, and then looked up to me smiling. “Really?” he whispered. I nodded and started crying, and your Daddy’s eyes filled with tears too. We were both so excited! We spent the rest of dinner talking about you and our little family that will be. We decided not to tell anybody until after your 12 week scan when we had seen your little heart beating and knew you were all safe and growing perfectly in there. It was so hard to keep a secret from our family and friends! We told Grandad for Father’s day, in a card. He sent us a message later in the day that said ‘Dear Kate and Mike, Thankyou for the best present for Father’s Day, love Dad’. He is excited and can’t wait to meet you too. He is certain you will be a ‘little ranga’ (redhead) just like him. We told all your grandparents after your early scan, and they are all very excited and can’t wait to meet you. You are already a very loved little baby.
We made the news of our pregnancy public at Wonargo, on the evening after your 12 week scan. Daddy wore a shirt that said ‘Look What I Did --->’ pointing to me. I wore a shirt that said ‘Due In May’. Our friends were so excited and all started rubbing my belly, which was still quite flat. It was a very funny night. We also announced our pregnancy with a video slideshow on facebook to our other friends from around the country. They all loved it and are so excited for us.
We have seen you twice so far. We had a dating scan when you were around 7 weeks, and got to hear your little heart beating. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. You didn’t look much like a baby though, more like a jellybean. Daddy has taken to calling you ‘Tic-Tac’. Last week, we had your 12 week scan. This was so nervewrecking, waiting for the technician to say you were perfect and looking lovely and healthy in there. You look much more like a baby now, and wiggle around, kicking and dancing inside me. I can’t wait for the day I will feel your movements. You also kept putting your hands into your mouth, and got the hiccups at one stage! It is still a bit hard to comprehend that you are moving insde of me when I can’t feel it yet. You look so beautiful. I cried again when I saw you wiggling away. You are real, and I can’t wait to meet you.
I have had terrible ‘morning’ sickness (which lasts all day and night!) since 8 weeks. It is dreadful and anything I eat seems to come back to meet me again. Anytime we go in the car especially, I get horribly sick. I hope this ends soon – I am told it usually ends around 12 weeks, but am still sick. We shall see. When your Grandma was pregnant with me, she was sick for the whole pregnancy. I sure hope I’m not like that! It is very exhausting being pregnant and being sick all the time. But I know it will most certainly all be forgotten the moment I get to meet you and become your mummy.
Time has just gone so very slowly these last 13 weeks. I can’t believe that in just 6 months you will join us, and Daddy, yourself and I will finally be a family. I wonder whether you will be a boy or a girl. I wonder whether you will look like Daddy or me. I wonder whether you will be a big baby or a small baby. I wonder whether you will be a demanding baby or a calm and content baby. I am so excited to get to know you and to teach you all that we know about life. I know God has huge things planned for you. I am still amazed every day to remember that He already knows all the things which he has planned for your life, and for my life and your Daddy’s life. And I am sure that you will be one of his most beautiful creations. You are my child, and you are a child of God.
I hope you know how much we love you already. You are so small inside me, but you already consume my every thought. You are the baby we have been dreaming and hoping for, and we cannot wait to start our life with you.
Mummy and Daddy love you, little tic-tac.
