Dear Tic-Tac W13

To My Little Miracle,
Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. It is hard right now to imagine you are growing inside my tummy, and your little heart is beating away. But I know it is real, and your daddy and I feel so very blessed. It took three long months before we conceived you. Each month that passed, we wanted you even more. Mummy knew right away when we conceived you, but didn't want to get Daddy's hopes up. Two long weeks passed before we could test and see if this was 'the' month. I took the test early one morning just after Daddy had gone to work. There was a very faint second line. My heart skipped a beat. I took another test just incase I was imagining it. There was another very faint line. But it was not dark enough to reassure me that all our dreams really were coming true. I set off to the shops to buy a digital test, and decided to wait until the next day to check again before I told Daddy. That was the hardest night of my life so far. It was so hard keeping a secret from your Daddy, and trying to seem like nothing was different any everything was normal. I barely slept that night. The next morning, I had butterflies in my tummy. I waited patiently for Daddy to leave for work again, then did a digital test. It immediately came up with the word ‘Pregnant’. I screamed and jumped up and down and started giggling. It was real! There is a baby inside me!
I told your daddy we were going out to dinner, to celebrate ‘Happy Friday’ (we love celebrating Happy Friday each week as it means weekend time has come again! I often bake cakes, write little love notes, or give your Daddy a present). When Daddy got home, we went out to dinner, and I handed your Daddy a present. Daddy opened it to find a tiny 0000 white jumpsuit (I keep looking at it, imagining you in it in 6 months time!) and a digital test still saying ‘Pregnant’. Daddy looked at them, and then looked up to me smiling. “Really?” he whispered. I nodded and started crying, and your Daddy’s eyes filled with tears too. We were both so excited! We spent the rest of dinner talking about you and our little family that will be. We decided not to tell anybody until after your 12 week scan when we had seen your little heart beating and knew you were all safe and growing perfectly in there. It was so hard to keep a secret from our family and friends! We told Grandad for Father’s day, in a card. He sent us a message later in the day that said ‘Dear Kate and Mike, Thankyou for the best present for Father’s Day, love Dad’. He is excited and can’t wait to meet you too. He is certain you will be a ‘little ranga’ (redhead) just like him. We told all your grandparents after your early scan, and they are all very excited and can’t wait to meet you. You are already a very loved little baby.
We made the news of our pregnancy public at Wonargo, on the evening after your 12 week scan. Daddy wore a shirt that said ‘Look What I Did --->’ pointing to me. I wore a shirt that said ‘Due In May’. Our friends were so excited and all started rubbing my belly, which was still quite flat. It was a very funny night. We also announced our pregnancy with a video slideshow on facebook to our other friends from around the country. They all loved it and are so excited for us.
We have seen you twice so far. We had a dating scan when you were around 7 weeks, and got to hear your little heart beating. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. You didn’t look much like a baby though, more like a jellybean. Daddy has taken to calling you ‘Tic-Tac’. Last week, we had your 12 week scan. This was so nervewrecking, waiting for the technician to say you were perfect and looking lovely and healthy in there. You look much more like a baby now, and wiggle around, kicking and dancing inside me. I can’t wait for the day I will feel your movements. You also kept putting your hands into your mouth, and got the hiccups at one stage! It is still a bit hard to comprehend that you are moving insde of me when I can’t feel it yet. You look so beautiful. I cried again when I saw you wiggling away. You are real, and I can’t wait to meet you.
I have had terrible ‘morning’ sickness (which lasts all day and night!) since 8 weeks. It is dreadful and anything I eat seems to come back to meet me again. Anytime we go in the car especially, I get horribly sick. I hope this ends soon – I am told it usually ends around 12 weeks, but am still sick. We shall see. When your Grandma was pregnant with me, she was sick for the whole pregnancy. I sure hope I’m not like that! It is very exhausting being pregnant and being sick all the time. But I know it will most certainly all be forgotten the moment I get to meet you and become your mummy.
Time has just gone so very slowly these last 13 weeks. I can’t believe that in just 6 months you will join us, and Daddy, yourself and I will finally be a family. I wonder whether you will be a boy or a girl. I wonder whether you will look like Daddy or me. I wonder whether you will be a big baby or a small baby. I wonder whether you will be a demanding baby or a calm and content baby. I am so excited to get to know you and to teach you all that we know about life. I know God has huge things planned for you. I am still amazed every day to remember that He already knows all the things which he has planned for your life, and for my life and your Daddy’s life. And I am sure that you will be one of his most beautiful creations. You are my child, and you are a child of God.
I hope you know how much we love you already. You are so small inside me, but you already consume my every thought. You are the baby we have been dreaming and hoping for, and we cannot wait to start our life with you.
Mummy and Daddy love you, little tic-tac.

My First Letter - 25 weeks Pregnant

To my dear child,

I am 25 weeks pregnant today, and I lie here feeling you kicking me across my tummy. I love feeling you kick as I know I am never alone! You have been kicking me for a while now. Daddy first felt you kick on Christmas Day – that was a lovely present! Since then, he feels you every night, and sometimes you play games with him – he pokes and you kick, and he pokes again and you kick again. You also seem to love kicking me just when I’m trying to fall asleep! Mummy doesn’t like this too much. I complain to Daddy, and he rubs my belly saying ‘’Sssh, it’s sleeping time now’’ which sometimes settles you down.

I am still getting ‘’morning sickness’’ some days, but not every day now, which is a big relief. But when I do have it, it feels like there is a washing machine in my tummy and I feel terrible! I often get sick if i don’t eat often enough or if I get overheated (which is hard to avoid in the middle of summer!). Sometimes daddy and I joke about you pressing ‘’the button’’ which turns my nausea on and off – as sometimes it comes on very suddenly, and disappears hours later just as suddenly. I wish you didn’t know where the button was and never turned it on! If only it were that simple though!

My belly is getting bigger and bigger – somedays I just feel fat, but somedays, especially when you’re kicking really hard and making my belly move, I feel beautiful with my big, hard belly. I can’t believe it’s going to keep getting even bigger! Daddy and I try to remember to take photos whenever we remember, and it’s great to see in the pictures how much my belly (and you!) are growing.The other night you made me smile. We were watching a dancing competition on tv, and a team of irish dancers came on, and when the irish music started and they started dancing – so did you! You kicked and rolled and kicked and rolled the entire performance until just after the music was finished! I told Daddy it looks like you want to do irish dancing – Dad just groaned and said ‘’Does that mean I have to go to all the concerts? It all looks the same to me, it’s boring!”. But I’m sure he’d change his mind if you were in the concerts – and he’d not be able to take his eyes off of you! We shall see. You also like to kick me when I’m singing, and when we go to church during worship songs too. Maybe you like to dance to the music. Or maybe you’re trying to tell your Mummy to stop singing!

I have started reading all the labour and childbirth books now to start preparing for your birth. I can’t believe it could be 15 weeks or less away! There is so much to do and time is going so quickly! I am very excited thinking about your arrival, and starting to get excited about shopping for you – I love buying new things for you! It is hard though, not being able to buy cute clothes because we don’t know if you are a boy or a girl! So I am buying some of each (ssshhh, don’t tell daddy!).

The months while we were trying to conceive you went so slowly, and each week felt so long waiting to find out if we were finally pregnant with you. And then the first 12 weeks went so slow, waiting to know that you were ok and perfect inside my tummy. But now, time is really flying very quickly, and before we know it, you will be here with us, and our lives will be truly changed forever. We can’t wait to meet you. We love you already, and our lives are already blessed because of your presence in my tummy. We have so many hopes and dreams for you, and can’t wait until you come and join our little family.

All my love,

Mummy